took a little vacation. spent some time in rehab (didn't work), beat a homeless man, hung out at the dnc's aa meeting trying to pick up chicks, almost bombed an abortion clinic but then i decided those girls are the same girls at the dnc but are guaranteed to be sluts so i got some digits and spent christmas celebrating the non-birth of non-babies to non-responsible women. it was awesome.
i have some new year's resolutions and predictions
resolutions for 2006:
i resolve to take my medication (especially the salve for that rash).
i resolve to continue to spread v.d. amongst the ranks of liberals.
i resolve to accept foreigners...as workers on my estate.
i resolve not to automatically jump to the conclusion that the dingo ate my baby.
i resolve not to point and laugh at handicapped people...i will just laugh.
i resolve not to cry at movies.
i resolve to bring back the fade away jumper.
predictions for 2006:
i predict it will rain.
i predict bill clinton will sleep with someone not his wife and not necessarily a woman.
i predict the children are our future.
i predict the democratic party will split into two groups, the whiners and the criers.
i predict the republicans will maintain control of the house and rename it the 'hizzle'.
i predict the democrats will gain control of the senate and will rename it 'my ball' at which point they will take it and go home.
i predict 'kids in the hall' will do a reunion tour.
Published Monday, January 02, 2006 by tony the pony.